I will be honest: I don’t know why God keeps putting this on my heart other than simply because someone needs it. Submission is not always easy; society will not encourage this, but it is biblical, and we need it.
If you have been in church or Christian circles long, you have heard a message about wives submitting to their husbands.
Most likely, the text was Ephesians 5 or Colossians 3.
The feminists have hijacked God’s Holy Word and told us that submission is suppressive, but only in the home. They say you should have a career and submit to your boss to get that raise or promotion. Somehow, our husbands aren’t worthy of the same respect. The man you chose and vowed to love, honor, and cherish has taken a back seat to your boss. Additionally, God does not call women to submit to all men.
I want you to think back to the first time you were told that submission means you are inferior to your husband.
Do you remember?
I do. It was online. Not directly to me in the sense that I was personally inferior, but it was the concept as a whole. Something I had never thought or felt before.
It is definitely not true biblically.
God never said women are less valuable, important, or needed than men.
This idea of inferiority comes from our flesh, culture, and it is an easy avenue for Satan to use to destroy the family unit.
But let me help you.
You know by now that I love word studies. So, we will start by defining the word submit.
Webster’s 1828 dictionary says, “To yield, resign or surrender to the power, will or authority of another.”
Is the employee less valuable or important in the workplace than the boss? The employee is the one running the line, fixing a machine, writing the proposal, or crunching the numbers. They are the ones doing the work. Are they less important than the boss who gave them that job? Of course not. The boss has tasks to do, and the employee has tasks to do, and both need to be done to keep the company running successfully.
Do we get upset that children have to answer to their parents? Does this make them less worthy as people? Not at all.
Do you go to your pastor and tell him that the assistant pastor or secretary is being oppressed because they aren’t in an equal position with the pastor? I sure hope not. But ask any pastor worth his salt, and he will tell you that his assistant pastor and secretary are absolutely vital to him personally and to the ministry.
Anything with two heads is a monster.
Just as every employee can’t be the boss, children shouldn’t run the home, and every church member can’t be the pastor, the wife can’t be the leader of the home.
Leaders have responsibilities that others don’t. Which means they receive more expectations and consequences. Regardless of how we feel about our husbands’ leadership, we will not be the ones to stand before God and give an account of how he led. God will not look at us and ask why we let him lead the way he did.
We all have a personal responsibility to the Lord for our lives. We will give an account for our words, our service, and our soul-winning. As wives, we are also responsible for respecting and submitting to our husbands, nurturing our children, and training them in the Word of God.
But that dumb decision your husband made that you can’t let go of? He will answer for that. Not you.
To me, this was never suppressive; it’s freeing. I don’t have to answer for what choices my husband made. Just for how I respected and supported my husband. I also defer to him and let him have the final say. This helps me not to be stressed about things. I am thankful I get to say, “Let me ask my husband and let you know.”
Now, I do have the responsibility to pray for him to be sensitive to God’s leading, for God to give him wisdom, and for him to be a godly man. We have the responsibility to communicate openly and honestly. God gave us brains and the Holy Spirit. It is right to discuss things before making a decision.
But once that decision is made, whether you agree or not, your job is to pray and support. If his decision was wrong and it blows up in his face, you are not to hold it over his head or say you told him so. He knows what he did. The Holy Spirit will do the convicting and correcting.
I have had to learn a lot in the 15 years I’ve been married. I didn’t have a godly home or example for this. I had to learn through experience, personal Bible study, and godly preaching and advice.
The Lord showed me a long time ago that if I focus on Him, pray, and see to be the best godly wife I can be, then He takes care of the rest.
Your husband may have brought you something that you knew was a bad idea. And as you kindly gave your honest thoughts, said you’d do whatever he thought best, and prayed for God to lead, God just may change your husband’s heart through your example and prayers.
Sometimes, God uses those situations as an opportunity for you to obey Him because He is growing your faith and trust in Him, not just in your husband.
Please do not buy into the lie that you are inferior to your husband. You aren’t. God didn’t create women so that men could have someone to look down on.
You are to be his helpmeet. You are to be a team. You are one flesh.
Godly submission is not weak, inferior, or suppressive.
The verses that get women upset are Ephesians 5:23-24,”For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.“
They say that if the husband is the head, they are below him and, therefore, not as important.
Look at your body.
Is everything below your head invaluable?
Can we just let it die because it’s not the head?
No!
Read the entire verse. Christ is the head of the church. Is the church no longer important because they are under Christ’s leadership rather than being equal with Him?
Let’s look at this verse: ”But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.“ 1 Corinthians 11:3
Is Christ inferior to God? Did He lose His deity? Not in the least.
Did He willingly submit to the Father’s will by coming to be the Saviour of all humankind? YES.
Submission does not make you less than. It simply shows order. Order keeps things organized rather than chaotic.
Now, I always have to add that abuse is not okay. God does not ever permit anyone to be abused in any fashion. If you are in an unsafe marriage, please seek help and counsel. There are biblical steps to be taken, and the abuser needs to be confronted and exposed. Whether it be the husband or the wife who is abusive, do not keep quiet. Divorce is not your only option, but staying in the same house is not an option either. I am not condoning submitting to abuse.
This subject of submission is the wife obeying the Lord through the avenue of obeying her husband. This means you do not have to agree with everything he does, you do not have to approve of his leadership, nor do you have to argue your point whenever there is a disagreement.
You get to pray for him, ask the Lord to help you trust and support your husband, and ask for wisdom to handle differences and disagreements.
You are allowed your own view and opinion. But at the end of the day, he gets the final say.
That gives you the opportunity to pray, “Lord, I don’t agree. I am concerned with how this affects our family. Please help me to trust You as You lead our family.”
God can use the faith and prayer of a wife even in an error made by the husband.
Ladies, our men aren’t perfect. They know it. God knows it. Yet, He still gave the command for us to submit to them.
Your display of trust gives your husband confidence to make more and better choices. He needs you by his side.
Your submission to your husband is also submission to God.
If we operate in opposition to God’s Word and will, that is sin.
When we do not submit ourselves to our husbands, we are telling God that He was wrong, His way does not work, and we are the exception to His will.
Take a step of faith, pray for God’s help in this, and let Him work in your heart and marriage.
Submission is like tithing. It doesn’t always make sense and you’re nervous to do it, but God blesses through it in ways you can’t imagine.
Stay in the Word, stay close to the Shepherd, and let Him lead you in paths of righteousness.
With Hope in His Service,
Heather.
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