Parenting in Proverbs

I am reading through the book of Proverbs in my daily devotions, and the Lord has reminded me of some things. 

Chapters 2-5 and 7 begin with a plea to listen to the instruction and wisdom. God has not written these chapters for us to ignore them. It is also written from a father to his son. 

In these chapters, we find a call to obedience. The plea is given because we do not naturally listen to godly wisdom; we prefer our own worldly wisdom. God clearly states that our way results in sin, destruction, and death.

The parent-child relationship spoke to me today. As parents, we have a responsibility to teach and train our children. They have a responsibility to obey, but we have a responsibility to teach and model obedience. We must teach them to obey; if they do not, we are to deliver consequences. God does the same with His children. The law of sowing and reaping applies to everyone, including your children. From toddlers to teenagers, we have a responsibility to our children. The actions and consequences change as they grow but do not disappear. 

The Lord reminded me that one responsibility never changes regardless of our children’s ages. 

The responsibility we have as parents is to model a godly life. 

As a child of God, we are never exempt from God’s boundaries. Our children need to know that we never outgrow God. We must show them a surrendered life that joyfully seeks God’s will and submits to it. If you live apart from God, your children will think they do not need to submit to God’s authority once they are adults. This will leave them with a life of sin and heartache. Continue to model a submitted life in front of them. 

Secondly, as a wife and mother, you have a responsibility to model godly womanhood to your children. Please do not dismiss the importance of this if you only have sons. Your boys need to see what a godly woman is to determine when a young lady is a potential spouse. They must see these godly qualities lived out to know it is possible. The world will tell them that these qualities are outdated and unrealistic. 

God gave me a few specific points here. 

 As a wife, do you willingly submit to your husband’s authority in the home? If you don’t, your children probably don’t either, yet you discipline them for it. They should obey Dad, but you should model this, too. They need to see healthy, biblical communication and obedience. If you are arguing and complaining, they will, too. It starts with you. 

As a mom, do you use Scripture to discipline but not encourage? They will feel like God’s Word is only a list of rules and God is an angry dictator. This is not the God of the Bible. They must know God’s Word encourages and comforts them just as it corrects them. 

As a mom, do you point out ways you are obeying Scripture in your life and home? When Dad makes a decision, encourage him to point out Scripture to back it up when possible. When you say a cartoon, show, music, book, etc., is inappropriate, use Scripture. They need to see practical ways to apply God’s Word. Not out of pride to say you are better than others or only make good choices, but to show them that God’s Word is applicable and that obeying God’s Word does not mean life is boring.

Do you share (when appropriate) that you have disobeyed the Lord and need to repent? Maybe it was an argument with your husband, a harsh tone to a child, a word of gossip, a complaining spirit, envy, pride, anger, or laziness. It is okay to tell your children you battle sin and must repent. When you sin against them, apologize and ask for forgiveness. Let them know you recognize the sin, asked the Lord to forgive and help you, and now you ask for their forgiveness, too. 

This is something most adults need to improve at. It hurts our pride. But if we do not get ahold of this, I fear a few things will result:

1. Our children struggle with sin and never get help because they think they are the only ones struggling. Satan uses isolation. Let them know you still fight the flesh. Do not leave them struggling alone. 
2. They do not learn to apologize and ask for forgiveness. This leaves the world, flesh, and devil in charge, resulting in a narcissist who blames their actions on others rather than taking responsibility for themselves. We must teach and train our children in this area! They need to know how to go to God’s Word for help, pray for forgiveness and victory, and get right with one another. 

Next, we must teach them to have their own walk with God. Again, this begins with us modeling it. They need to see you in your Bible and prayer, too. They need to know that you believe, trust, and rely on God.

Lastly, they need to see you living out the truths of Scripture. They need to see you living out your faith. They need to know the Bible works. If you do not believe it and live it out as much as possible, they won’t either. Your children need to see your faithfulness. God needs to be real to them, but it starts with God being real for you. 

Stay in the Word, stay close to the Shepherd, and let Him lead you in paths of righteousness. 

With Hope in His Service,

Heather