As wives, we have this idea that submission to our husbands means we lose who we are. Biblically, that is not true. Submission is really just saying yes to God, by saying yes to our husbands and letting them have the final say. It is letting them walk out the authority and responsibility God has given them.
Most women want their husbands to be strong, steady, and sacrificial. We are told they should be strong physically so they can protect and provide, strong spiritually so they can lead and teach, strong emotionally to balance out our emotions, and strong mentally to deal with the pressures of life so we don’t have to. We want them to be steady, to be consistent. We expect them to hold a job, not change their convictions or preferences often, and not be driven by emotions. Why? Because this gives us security. We want them to be sacrificial with their time, resources, and love.
I would even go as far as to say we not only want this, but we expect it. We even demand it at times. God wires us to want and need this from our husbands. It’s not a bad thing to desire this! However, our approach may need some work.
We want our husbands to lead spiritually, but how do you respond when he says the family will be at Saturday soul-winning, every night of the missions conference, or family devotions after dinner? Do you roll your eyes, huff, or say no? That’s not letting him lead.
We want our husbands to be strong, but we get upset when they don’t easily show or discuss their emotions.
We want them to love us sacrificially, but we make it hard for them, then act like they’re the problem. We want them to work steadily and sacrificially, yet we aren’t grateful for that sacrifice, and he feels like a paycheck rather than a provider.
We expect perfection. We expect unconditional love and grace. We expect them to go above and beyond for us without question or complaint.
Then we meet them with criticism. We never thank them. We simply do not appreciate them. To your husband, not being appreciated probably feels like a lack of respect, and maybe even a lack of love. This does not motivate him to do things for or with you. He needs your support and appreciation. The next time he says he likes things a certain way, says a movie or television show is inappropriate, says the kids need a set bedtime, etc., support him. If you don’t support and encourage his leadership, he will stop. I’m not saying it’s right. He is still responsible to the Lord for how he leads your family. But God also created you to be his helpmeet. God has given us wives a great responsibility and opportunity to support and encourage our husbands. We know what the Bible says they should do, but we must remember what the Bible says we should do as well.
You won’t agree with everything he does, and that’s okay. You take that to God in prayer, and then to him in private and ask if you can talk about it.
We say we want them to be strong, steady, and sacrificial, but do we let them be the men we want and the men God called them to be?
Stay in the Word, stay close to the Shepherd, and let Him lead you in paths of righteousness.
With Hope in His Service,
Heather
Proverbs_31Life 